Sunday, October 05, 2008

Promises, Trust and Forward Looking Statements



Early on a Sunday morning I have been contemplating current economic and political developments and have come to an important conclusion. I have decided to pass on in writing, to anyone I communicate with, a dicslosure statement referring to any  'forward looking statement'. 

Aren't those called 'promises' in real life? 
A declaration or an assurance that one will do a particular thing or that guarantees that a particular thing will happen.
I strongly urge you to include the following statement in the footer of any email you submit to anyone, especially if they contain personal promises of any sorts, not covered by your personal indemnity insurance ;-)

Disclosure on Promises
Some of the information in this email may contain projections or other forward-looking statements regarding future events or the future performance of (your name)
(your name)  wishes to caution you that these statements are only predictions and that actual events or results may differ materially. You are referred to all and any comments, oral and written in emails that (your name) has submitted from time to time. These documents and statements contain and identify important factors that could cause the actual results to differ materially from those contained in his promises or forward-looking statements, including, among others, changes in the demand for (your name); changes in economic conditions generally or technology spending in particular; changes in the competitive dynamics of (your name)’s markets, including alliances and consolidation among his competitors or partners; deterioration of (your name)'s relationships with existing and new partners, and (your name)'s inability to compete effectively in an increasingly competitive market. 
(your name) assumes no obligation, and does not intend, to update his promises.

Saturday, September 06, 2008

Heaven ... on a Saturday afternoon


Heaven ... is an afternoon of bliss, after a visit to the English shop and a purchase of happiness: cream scones mix and clotted cream ;-)

If you want the enjoyment, this is all you'll need, enjoy:

http://www.english-shop.de
Introduction to scones

Sunday, August 03, 2008

21 Reasons Why the English Language is hard to learn

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.

19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend.

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Ideas worth spreading

About this talk

In an exclusive preview of his book The Stuff of Thought, Steven Pinker looks at language and how it expresses what goes on in our minds -- and how the words we choose communicate much more than we realize.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Marvelous Philipp Lahm is Superhero




"It was always going to take something special to eliminate Turkey, like one of those movie monsters that can be killed only by a stake through the heart, or a silver bullet. It was going to need a savage plot twist, perhaps, or a ruthless hero, coldly determined to meet his destiny for the cause. Somehow, because this is what they do in big football tournaments, the Germans found such a man, and such a narrative, at St Jakob-Park last night ... Philipp Lahm ..."


Thanks Martin Samuel, Chief Football Correspondent, The Times. Read the full article here.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

This must be good

This I must share with you, a description of an internet radio station:

"Die coolste, modernste Klangwelt für den urbanen Nomaden. Dieser Sound ist immer positiv, uplifting und bright. Ohne Moderation können Sie damit durch den Tag gleiten."

In fact, that's exactly what I'm looking for at 6.30 in the morning, something "uplifting und bright".

The point made here is, language is certainly not static, it develops, grows and flourishes in its natural environment.

Friday, March 14, 2008

Linguistic Congruence within the European Union

1. Due to its widespread use on the so-called 'Information Superhighway', and so that growing anti-European sentiments in Britain may be reassured about the importance of Britain's role in the European Union, the European Parliament has taken the unprecedented step of selecting one language - English - to become the preferred common language of the European Union.

2. In order to expedite this process and to speed congruence, the European Parliament has commissioned a feasability study of ways in which communications between departments of member governments can be made more effective. Its main recommendations are summarised below.

3. European officials have often pointed out that English spelling is unnecessarily complicated and illogical - for example, the different sounds of cough, plough and rough, or heard and beard. There is a clear need for a phased programme of changes to eliminate these anomalies. The programme would, of course, require administration by a committee whose members would be supplied by participating nations.

4. During the first year of implementation, it is envisaged that the soft "c" will be replaced by the more phonetically correct letter "s". This will sertainly be resieved favourably by sivil servants in many European sities, and will insidentally render the "i" before "e" exsept after "c" rule unnesessary. The logical replasement of the hard "c" by the letter "k" will follow, due to the similarity in pronunsiation. This konkomitant step will, insidentally, not only klear up konfusion in the minds of klerikal workers, but also klarify word prosessing sinse it kompletely removes the need for one of the letters on the keyboard.

5. The sekond stage will see the digraph "ph" written as "f". In addition to the fonetik logik of this move, words such as "fotograf" will be twenty per sent shorter.

6. The third fase will involve the removal of double letters in words. In many instanses, double leters do not afekt the aktual pronunsiation of a word. They are, however, a comon deterent to akurate speling.

7. The fourth element will be the elimination of silent "e"s from the languag. Thes ar often stal reliks of past spelings. They do litl to enhans writen English and it is antisipated that they kould be droped with eas.

8. By this point, the Komision antisipats that publik akseptans of the changes will be at a high level. It wil thus be posibl to promot som other, smaler, but stil posibly kontentious, changes. For exampl, the unesesary "o" kan be droped from words kontaining the "ou" digraf. A similar proses kuld then be aplid to other vowel and konsonant kombinashuns.

9. However, no konseshun wuld yet hav ben mad to Uropean sensibilitis. To tak kar of som of the komon difikultis enkountered by non-nativ spekers, it wuld be sensibl for the "th" digraf to be replased by "z". Ze funkshun of ze "w" kan zen be taken by ze letter "v", vich is, of kors, half a "w" in any kas.

10. Zis proses vil kontinu, in a kumulativ fashun. Eventuli English vil be ze komon languag ov ze Komuniti, vich vil no longer be merly an ekonomik sifer, but a kominashun ov fre pepls. Ve shal kontinu to red and rit as zo nuzing has hapend. Evrivun vil no vot ze uzer sitizens ar saying and komunkashun vil be mutch ezier. Ze Komuniti vil hav achevd its objektivs ov congrewents and ze drems ov ze pepls of Urop vil finali hav kum tru. It is hopd zat zes signifikant konseshuns vil finaly reashor ze "Uroskeptiks"!

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Buddha:
Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.

Colonel Sanders:
Damn, I missed one!

Anderson Consulting:
Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position.

The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes.

Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework.

Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Anderson consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes.

The meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution.

Andersen Consulting helped the chicken change to become more successful.


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